TEXT ME

I miss you so much it's unbearable!!!!

Text me please :)

And we need to skype soon, because I miss your face.

OOPS

Totally have NOT been on here in a while!
Well then lets get to the venting!
I LOVE YOU MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF.

ok we got that out of the way

I am SO FUCKING FAT! I promised myself I wouldn't gain more than 5lbs this winter,
topped that in like a week.

It didn't help that your family cooks AMAZING FOOD.
Seriously, I gained like 15lbs in Cali.

Oh well TIME FOR THE GYM I GUESS.
or not...
OOOOOHHHH!!!! COOOKKKIIIEEESSSSSS!!

just kidding

but no seriously I'm baking cookies.
wait....
shit....

That might be why I'm fat. Maybe. Just maybe.

I recorded Sail at the studio with legit equipment today! It. Sounds. AWESOME.

I'll post it on here as soon as its done.

btw I need my hat! ITS COLD AS FUCK!

You Are Not A Failure

You aren't a failure love, You are capable of so much more than you realize. You just need to get in front of the right people. Acting is about rejection, But you will succeed.

I love you more than life itself <3

Update

Been awhile lol.
I guess I gave up on the daily blog thing. It all pretty much sums up to the same basic points:
- I miss her more than anything
- I love her more than life
- Texas sucks
- I miss Cali
- TEXAS SUCKS

So yeah.

Oh!! After 3 years of saving I'm getting a 2012 Mustang GT Custom.
Its black with white racing stripes. Sexy as hell. Almost as sexy as the love of my life, but not quite.

She will always be number one.

I got my baby back

Bo Bo :)

Day 2

Nothing eventful.
I love and miss you with all my heart.

FUCK TEXAS AND YOUR 52 DEGREE WEATHER!!!!!

Yogurtzone

Is lamesauce.

Time to troll

Me gusta

Hacked once again!

I'll keep it short. You're the most perfect person in the world & I love you :)

On The Eve Of Collapse

Where are we heading? No, I don’t mean it literally, I mean where we, as a society heading? I believe it was Darwin who said that the process of evolution is not complete. So, if we take it as a standard, the question still begs an answer, where are we heading? If the answer is towards a better and a brighter future and/or evolving, then I must seriously contest your answer. Look around you and tell me how have we evolved?

From the increase in the pollution to the destruction of our once beautiful eco-system to the destruction of the tall and majestic rainforests, wherever the eye can take a gander, I for one see no evolution and/or a bright future. Now don’t give me all that jazz about its all in the name of progress. I really don’t see how do we wish to progress by crushing the weak links and just going rampant over what ever arouses our lust or fury. True sacrifices must be made in order to win a war but if the number of sacrifices is far greater than those killed than chances are that you will lose.

No, before you ask I haven’t gone all green (though I do support the causes against global warming, environmental pollution etc.) I am just saying that as a society on every front we are constantly deteriorating (Today however I would only be covering our bases of respect and how much do we value knowledge). How? Well chee I don’t know, look around for once. When was the last time you actually saw someone caring about another human being just for the sake of humanity? When was the actual lasts time you saw someone giving without expecting a reward in return? When was the last time you saw people actually bothered to respect someone on the bases of his knowledge and not his pocket? Now, before you start to answer these questions please I implore you to look up the term “rhetorical questions”. It would save a lot of my time.

Now, you may not believe it but in the times of your father and grandfather people were respected on their knowledge. People who actually had knowledge, no matter how poor, were considered precious and respected in the society. It didn’t matter if the one respecting was rich or poor either. But today just look around, the ones who actually have wealth walk around as they rule everything and everyone should bow down to them. The ones stepping down from a Volvo, BMW, Mercedes, Land Rover etc are automatically considered respectful and people walk around them ready to kiss any posterior they can to get in their good graces. Now, I am not saying that those people are always not respectable; they might be but seriously is monetary value of someone’s assets really the best criterion for judging if the person should be a holder of your attention and time?

It’s really sad to see that money has become the goal of our society. Education is now sold, prime example being tuition centers (half of them can’t even spell the word tuition correctly) popping up everywhere and teachers actually supporting them more than institutions. I could rant endlessly on this but I digress. People actually rate others on the amount of cash in their pocket or the power they possess and not the knowledge nor the other person’s sincerity and loyalty. If you wish to test this, just go anywhere (where you are not known) in tattered clothes on a cycle and then to the same place in branded clothes on a luxurious ride, the difference would be evident. And the saddest part is that people actually have come to accept these rules of judgment and pass these rules subconsciously to their children.

Still convinced that society hasn’t lost its morals? Well let me narrate a story I heard just the other day. “I am a grade 20 government officer of Pakistan Atomic Energy. Now, one day as we (him and his co-workers) sat in the absence of light, we couldn’t help but discuss what have we accomplished in our life. Frankly, after looking at today’s society, almost all of us reached one conclusion that we had accomplished nothing. We have neither gained any respect from anyone nor any monetary assets. We would have been better off working in some private firm or in outer countries. Now, I would like to add that my coworkers were all grade 20 and 21 government officers who are all highly educated in their respected divisions. Where is our retribution? Our job designates as “Scientists” but society dubs as useless/respect less individuals. Even our wives taunt us that we have achieved nothing in this lifetime.”

Of course half of you would be like that hey dude, I know this guy/girl and he is a grade 18 officer and he has blah blah blah… Firstly, not all divisions of government are on the same pay scale and benefits secondly the word power comes in. A grade 18 officer of Police is simply more respected and considered useful in our today’s society than a grade 20 scientist. And please don’t give me examples of Dr. A Q Khan or Dr. Samarmand Mubarik (heck half of you won’t even know any other scientist than Dr. A Q Khan and honestly I don’t blame you), sometimes exception occur even in our dumb and money hungry society.

Still not convinced? Seriously, look at this society where money matters more than any amount of knowledge or manners. Where at the end of the day it all comes down to who has more. A society where the only moral is either you eat or you get eaten. A society where each day and out people are slaughtered in one way or the other just because they are poor. A society which only knows how to follow the laws of the Jungle. Honestly, we are nothing more than animals.

On the eve of alcoholism

Drunk friends and confessions of love,
They worry me. I feel inferier to some of your friends.
I feel insecure that someone might romance you. I love you more than you know
and I'm not gonna lie, I get jealous when you hang out with guys.
I'm not gonna be "that guy" and forbid you from hanging out with other guys.
But I will be honest, it bugs me.
And now there is a drunk guy confessing his love for you on Twitter?
I trust you completely but I can't help but feel the need to defend our love.
And baby,
I would fight to the death for you.

I love you

Day 1

The first day back in Texas.
Fuckin sucked.
I'm supposed to do this everyday but idk. We shall see.

I miss her so damn much it hurts. Like it physically hurts.
I miss the way she woke me up in the morning, and the way she could
just look at me and we both knew what we wanted to say.
I miss the sneaky kisses and the hugs.
I miss her scent, and her warmth.
and most of all,
I miss her face.

Her beautiful face was so perfect. She is more beautiful without makeup than any girl
I know WITH make up.
I would give anything just to kiss her again.
Just to cuddle in the car again.
And to feel her fingers gently playing with my hair while I sleep next to her.


I miss her so much it hurts.

It hurts

It hurts
It hurts to say goodbye, even though i will see you again soon.
I take too many pills because they keep me from feeling
and when I'm here and your there, there really isn't much to feel.
I overshot it this time, I was talking to my doctor.
I almost OD'd. Joy.
Apparently I'm retarded. YAYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Also when you said your parents hated me, that hurt me alot.
Because I've been trying so hard for them not to, but they do anyway.
Oh well.

So now that I'm here and your there I don't know what to do.
I guess I'll do what I always do. I'll just become numb, shut down, and not feel anything
until may.

Soooooo.... fuck you world.

and Genesis, I LOVE YOU

So im back in Dallas.

My so called "home". But I feel like I'm visiting somewhere. I miss her more than you could possibly imagine. I belong in California. This is a quick one cause I'm at the airport but ill post more at the appartment.

Tonight

Tonight, Magical things will happen. That is, given the fact that you wake up. Your parent are honestly pissing me off. But its ok, because all you have to do is walk down the stairs. 3am babe.
3am I will finally get to cuddle up with you and feel your warmth. 3am I will finally get to kiss you freely. Although I wish I could kiss you head to toe, and taste your sweetness, this makes me happier than anything in the world. ;)

3am baby
I love you

Hacked

He's the best thing that's happened in a long time. He says he's useless, but he's not to me. He makes me feel happy & makes me smile. It's been a while since I've felt this wanted. The past 3 days have found me in a surreal state of happiness. Words have finally turned into action. I'll always be there for him, no matter what happens & no matter what everyone thinks. I love him and want to shout it out to the world, but I'll just have to be content with sly smiles & these words.

Her

She is an angel. I love the way she randomly dances, and the way her hair moves when she shakes her head to The Runaways. I love the way she kisses me gently and the way she smiles when we lock eyes. I love her laugh and when she speaks Spanish it makes me want her so much more. I am so in love with her its insane.

I love her

So much, and now I get to live with her. Her eyes make me feel like my heart is safe. And her lips are so tempting, like a candy you can only enjoy gently. She always looks beautiful, and she doesn't believe me when I tell her.

I love her.